


Broken Boy

by mac_irony



Series: Rose's Hamiilton AU Hell [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, Like hella pining, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Smut, Pining, Swearing, Texting, that sounds awkward but eh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 20:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7728286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mac_irony/pseuds/mac_irony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John was clearly not fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Please protect John Laurens at all costs my precious bby
> 
> Also side note the tag says texting but like its not a chat fic they just like communicate via text 
> 
> Enjoy!!

One of John’s favorite pastimes was hanging out with friends. Whether they were actually doing something or just lounging around their dorms, John always felt happy when surrounded by his four best friends. Even when separated, they still managed to be together in a way. They had formed a group chat, as the kids do these days, and were constantly texting on it.

Now on this particular evening, John and Hercules were in their shared dorm room making light conversation while texting Laf and Alex who were walking back from an advanced French class.

John glanced down at his buzzing phone.

\--Hammy: oh fuck me laurens 

\--Laffy Taffy: you should see him rn he is glaring at earth

John laughed at his grumpy best friend and typed a fast reply.

\--John: you wish hamilton

John laughed along with Hercules until Herc noticed the blush on John’s face. “Oh I almost forgot!” Herc cried out. “You’re still in love with Alex!” He burst into a hearty laugh as John’s face got redder.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you,” John groaned and shot his friend a dirty look before flopping into his pillow.

Herc’s hands flew up in an innocent fashion just as their phones gave another buzz.

\--Hammy: you’re right. I do.

John squeaked and his eyes went to Hercules who was not looking to be of any help based on the loud cackling. Then John did something he was positive he was going to regret.

\--John: did you just flirt with me ??? :0

\--Herc u les: laf are you thinking what I am

\--Laffy Taffy: yes and mon dieu you are so right

John waited anxiously for a response from Alex. He and Alex had definitely flirted before but, unlike this time, it was obvious then that it was a joke to Alex. He didn’t want to lose his best friend because he had overstepped a boundary. John’s eyes darted to his phone when it buzzed again. He snatched it close to his face and chewed on his lip as his eyes scanned over the message.

\--Hammy: have been for the past year but thanks for noticing

Suddenly the room when quiet, Herc stopped laughing, the phones stopped buzzing and John stopped breathing.

\--John: wait what

\--Hammy: shit

\--Hammy: bye

\--Hammy has left the conversation

John panicked for a second until he realized he had to say something or else he was going to lose Alex forever.

\--John has added Hammy to the conversation

\--John: Alex did you mean that??

His heart was beating too fast for it to be healthy and he couldn’t control his breathing anymore. He glanced up to notice that Herc was definitely reading the conversation but wasn’t saying anything. Good. That gave him an opening. He began typing again, his hands shaking as he moved over the letters. 

Then he hit send.

It wasn’t sending.

Okay, it was sending, just incredibly slowly.

\--Hammy: bye

\--Hammy has left the conversation

“NO!” John’s audible cry came just as a noise from his phone signified his text finally sending.

\--John: alex if you mean it it's fine. It's good. It’s great. I love it. It makes me happy. You make me happy. But I don’t want to talk about this over text with laf and herc laughing about how it took me years to do this so please just hurry back from french so we can talk because I really really like you and I don't want to miss my shot with you please oh god I hope you meant it

John’s phone dropped from his still shaking hands and he tried to let out a breath but when he tried all that come out was a choked sob. Herc looked up finally after he finished reading what John had written to see a broken boy sitting on the bed across from him. He made his way to John’s bed and put an arm around the smaller boy as he wept. Herc felt his own phone ringing, signifying a call from Lafayette. He pulled away from John and stepped out into the hall to answer it.

“Laf, what’s wrong? John’s in tears because he thinks he’s lost Alex, and it's my job as his friend and roommate to comfort him.” Hercules shifted his weight and leaned up against the wall facing their room.

“We have problem, mon ami,” Laf was panting on the other end of the line.

“What’s wrong,” Herc repeated.

“Alex ran off.”

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me right now,” Hercules was tired and he did not feel like running after Alex again. “Any hints this time?”

“Yes. He said he was going to see Eliza,” Laf said hesitantly.

“No.”

“Yes. Why would I lie?”

“Laf, I’m telepathically telling Alex ‘no’. Not you.”

“That is, how you say, rude.”

“Shut up you French fuck. You try to stop him before he gets there and I’ll block the entrance if he does.”

“Okay.” Laf’s tone was shaky.

“Laf it’s going to be okay. It always is.”

“Yeah, but this time it is John too. I just want them to be happy and to not have to go to two separate Christmas parties.”

“It’ll be okay Laf.” Herc said once more before hanging up, although he wasn’t so sure he believed it as much as he wanted Lafayette to.

John watched as the door swung open gently and Herc emerged in the doorway. “John? Are you okay to be alone right now? There’s been an emergency.” He knew John would see right through it.

“Yeah. I mean I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life so why not start now. Say hi to Alex for me,” John mumbled, his voice only cracking when he said Alex’s name.

“John…” Herc muttered.

“It’s a joke, Herc. Just like my love life. Go. I’m fine.” John was clearly not fine but keeping Alex out of the Schuyler’s apartment was of a bit more short-term importance.

“I’ll be back.”

“I know.”

_____

Alex could hear Lafayette behind him calling his name. Damn his stupidly long legs. He was almost the Schuyler sisters’ shared apartment. If Lafayette would just give up he could make it.

Alex twisted his head in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the distance between him and the giant chasing after him. However, since he was facing the other way, he missed the giant standing right in front of him. He ran straight into Hercules’s chest and stumbled backwards, suddenly dizzy. He felt Lafayette grab his arms and hold him back.

“Come on,” Alex whined. “Why can’t I just go to my friend’s house for advice when I’ve screwed up. It’s unnecessary and unethical to keep me from going to her.” He tried to look convincing but was struggling to pull it off.

“Alex, we love you but you know what you’re doing is wrong. You are fully aware that Eliza is still hung up on you and it’s not fair to her or to John or to you for you to play her like that.” Herc placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. 

“Why the hell would John care? It doesn’t affect him, not that he wants it to.” Alex was pissed and it showed in his voice. Honestly though, Alex didn’t care at all anymore. Any hope he’d had of finally telling John how he felt and having the feelings reciprocated was smashed into tiny pieces he wasn’t sure he could ever recover.

“Alexander you do not understand. You would if you hadn’t run away. I was going to show you,” Lafayette sighed behind Alex.

“What do you mean you were going to show me? Show me what?” Alex was anxious now. What was so important that they had to stop him in the middle of the quad.

Herc pulled out his phone and Alex glanced at the top of the screen and saw it was the chat he had left half an hour before. He had named it after himself: Hamilsquad. 

“I don’t want to look at this anymore please,” Alex grumbled and looked away, still locked in Lafayette’s arms.

“Alexander, please.” Herc pushed the phone back into Alex’s view.

Alex’s eyes scanned the screen to see a long-ass paragraph that he didn’t remember typing and didn’t remember reading. He read it once and then read it again. And again. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He really had screwed things up with John, hadn’t he.

“Laurens is sitting on his bed bawling his eyes out because he thinks you hate him now.” Hercules said pulling his hand back and clicking the phone off. “So if you think by any means that putting Eliza through the torture of listening to your romantic issues is going to help you in any way, shape, or form then you need to rethink it. Now please go talk to him before he decides to shut us all out.”

Lafayette let Alex’s arms go and he shook his arms around, regaining mobility.

“I have to go,” He mumbled. “I need to see John.”

“Damn right you do.”

_____

John woke up to rapid knocking on the door. He rubbed the remaining wetness off his face, ignoring the fact that he had cried himself to sleep a little less than an hour ago.

“Herc, if you just learned to take your fucking keys with you when you left this wouldn’t be a problem,” John mumbled and opened the door expecting to see a key-less Hercules. He was instead faced with a breathless and red-faced Alexander Hamilton. “Alex…” John didn't want to shut him out but he also didn’t really want to talk to him at the moment.

“John,” Alex panted and put a hand on the door frame to support himself. “I ran all the way here when they showed me.”

“Showed you what? Why are you even here?” John hadn’t meant for it to come out so harshly and at one glance at Alex’s sad eyes he softened. “I didn't mean it like that. You can come in if you want.” He left the door open and shuffled over to his bed. 

Alex followed John into the room and paced in front of John for a moment before stopping and facing him. The boy he’d been in love with for the past year looked at him with bloodshot eyes and his favorite blanket curled around him. He still looked beautiful to Alex though. Alex swore at himself looking at John. He hated himself for allowing himself to break such an amazing person.

Alex was about to begin a speech he’d prepared on his way over when John’s voice caught his ear, “I’m sorry I reacted that way. I know it wasn’t exactly the most tactful way to handle it but I figured you were kidding and I was letting my hopes get high and then you left and I thought I had crossed a line because any other time we’ve said stuff like that it was obvious you were just joking but I hoped too much and now I’m so in over my head. I love you Alex and I have for the past two and a half years and I ruined it all in one text and I’m sorry. I can stop hanging around you guys if it makes you uncomfortable. I can stop talking to you. It’ll suck but if that's what you want then I can try for you.” 

And for a moment the roles were reversed. John was speaking a mile a minute and Alex was silent, just absorbing all the information. And then Alex saw them. Alex saw the tears rolling down his best friend’s cheeks. Seeing John Laurens cry because of something he did made Alex collapse. He dropped to his knees in front of John’s bed and began explaining, his voice wavering slightly.

“John, please don’t cry. No, you don’t understand. I don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave me. I meant it. Every last word I've ever said. Every stupid pick up line and every wink and every time I said I love you because I do. I love you so much it physically pains me to see you so sad. John please just look at me. We’ve been wanting the same thing and never saying it because we were afraid of rejection but we don’t have to be afraid anymore. I love you. You love me. We can make this work. Please stop crying. I-I can’t see you cry knowing it’s my fault. John please. I love you. I love you. I love you John. Please.” 

Alex reached for John’s face. His warm hands made contact with John’s wet cheeks and pulled their heads closer together. Their foreheads met as John let out what seemed to be a final sob.

“I love you, John,” Alex whispered again, wiping his thumbs under John’s tired eyes.

John finally looked at Alex’s face. A look of affection and fondness shone in his dark eyes. 

“I love you too, Alex,” He whispered back and threw his arms around Alex’s neck. He let his eyes meet Alex’s once again, as if asking permission. Alex, in response pulled John’s face closer and pressed his lips against the freckled boy’s. John had kissed others before, but never like this. Never had he ever kissed someone who held so much love and passion in the action as Alexander did. John had never felt so loved than in that moment where he and Alex, the boy he’d loved since freshman orientation, were pressed against each other, lips moving in sync, and hands holding each other so close you couldn’t slide a paper between them. When Alex finally pulled away, he gave John the same smirk that had always given John butterflies, causing him to melt. 

John pulled Alex up onto his bed and invited him under his covers. Alex accepted and wrapped his arm around John, allowing him to curl into his side. They fell asleep like that; John’s arm draped over Alex’s middle and Alex’s head nuzzled into John’s hair.

When Laf and Herc returned to the dorm to check in and saw the two cuddling and smiling like idiots in their sleep, Herc nudged the Frenchman’s arm and whispered, “I told you everything would be okay.” Lafayette nodded and smiled at the sight.

“I’m so glad they're happy.”

**Author's Note:**

> This goes along with some of my head canons that I'm planning on slowly turning into fics so yea. 
> 
> AKA this is part of a verse! Woo!
> 
> If you liked this come chill with me on tumblr! I write little fics there for our favorite founding fathers and I also do character x reader so come send me a request or just shoot me a random question! It's a party over there!! marquisdebaguettte.tumblr.com
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!! <33333


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